An Addiction maybe?

In the library for hours at a time, every binding of the academic books for the semester are being cracked, nutrition of food goes out the window trying to stay afloat with Finals, and Coffee should basically be hooked up to a drip. THis addiction to coffee is a repetitious cycle. Drink too much of it in the evening and it will keep you up all night to lead you to drinking more of it the next day because of the lack of sleep it caused you. Will we ever deny the craving for coffee and find sanity within the mix? Mind racing a mile a minute, heart pumping blood like there is no tomorrow, emotions are running oddly with hyperactivity and ADD kicks in without even knowing.... Dramatic yes! To this degree my coffee addiction does not reside but It has caused me to loose sleep this past night and yes i am planning on drinking some coffee when I see the sun come up. Only one more week before finals are finished!

On my knees.... in awe of Who God is!!!!

God is so amazing. There is no one in my life besides him who can captivate me for hours at a time. Spending intimate time with him makes my entire life worth living for. I was sitting on this hill side... in awe of how beautiful he is. He can make the sun set, make the wind kiss my cheek, and fill my heart with joy and love for Him in just that, a few seconds. God is so big, so incomprehensibly, omnipotent and omnipresent. I cant spend enough hours in the day, enough words or thoughts in a second, or enough intimate time with him to fully give Him the praise He deserves. We, who are we to receive such an invitation to be loved by HIM. He didnt ask us to love him then maybe after evaluating or spending time with him He might love us. HE Invited us to spend time with him to be loved by Him by just surrendering our life.

Life that is worth living!

Life... it means something different to every person. Some take it slow, some fly through not enjoying the change in season or the smell of fresh rain air, some live in both aspects and truly cherish the slow times. I, I am one who, even though seems to be flying through week by week with school and work, really deep down loves life to be slow. Enjoying each moment is much more memorable and exhilarating than to only get to experience a small piece of multiple things.


I am realizing that life is to short to live without relaxing to classical music, or taking a relaxing candle lit bubble bath or making the friendships I have deeper and sacrifice myself to encourage them in their decisions in life. Have you picked up that Chello that you have always wanted to play, or that paint brush, or that fly fishing rod? One of the greatest accomplishments that can ever be achieved is the one that the heart is most passionate about and one that helps shape oneself.

Falling in love with Fall

Fall is my favorite time of the year. The leaves changing colors, pumpkins on porches, jackets and scarves, and hot apple cider... all of these things make fall my favorite season. It is definitely my dream to fall in love during the fall season. I am amazed by how beautiful God's creation becomes as the leaves chemically change before our eyes. There is no question in my mind that God exists when I understand the complexity of how a leaf changes colors. The colors, the smells, the food, the activities and spending time with family make life so amazing and enjoyable. I am falling in Love with who god is, his never ending mercies and his creation all over again.

Why...Why Not.... Is there an answer?

Why is it that the older I get the desire to experience life intensifying? I want to love more... have deeper and closer friendships... go sky diving... I want to get married... have children... go on mission trips and bless people with the amount of knowledge and education. I look at my life and wonder why? Why do I get impatient when I know that God has amazing things in store for me and that i need to focus not on what is seen but what is unseen. Knowing that He is the planner, scheduler, match maker, career advisor, care giver, and comforter.

Saturday, was an amazing day... starting off with meeting with Alita and sharing what God is doing in my life and what lies ahead. Alita's heart is so tender and sensitive and her tears of joy and amazement of How God loves us brings us closer. then the afternoon was filled with joy, speechless conversation, love and building a deeper friendship. Driving from one beautiful view to the next breath taking view was the perfect day for me. Even though plans changed I know that it was for the best. A friendship was built with open conversation and falling in love with God through his creation. I got to see the black butte dam, the country roads and rolling hills all at sunset... pictures are to come when the photographer posts them ...He is amazing at what He does. So this leads me to WHY? WHich I am ok with and being patient until then is ok too.

Mountain Bike Riding

I just got done with a typical stroll through the park with a few of my guy friends. I truly enjoy the honor of riding with these young gents. Not only do they protect me they are always looking out for me. But thats enough about them... I really wanted to write about how beautiful Gods creation is. I mean here we are every day living our typical lives going to work, school, church... and we forget to stop and spend time with God. He doesn't want to be praised only when we are quiet and sitting, He wants us to be on fire for him and live everyday with him. I mean if you truly see our relationship as an intimate relationship, how can we build any foundation if we only give him part of our lives. I mean if you could touch God and see him or act like this spiritual relationship might mimic one we might have on earth than who wants to always be quiet and still... I dont I want to be mountain bike riding, white water rafting, taking walks, playing soccer or ballroom dancing. I want to live out life and include and make the center Jesus!

Music and Arts Festival in San Francisco for Three days

the Music and Arts festival in San Francisco was absolutely amazing. I am so glad that i got to go and be with Jillian. We had some amazing and crazy experiences that we wont ever forget. From walking 60 blocks at least the first few hours in the city... to bearly making it to Radiohead the first night. Friday night was fun. We met up with my friend Andrew and a few others. Saturday Jill and i had an amazing breakfast in union square and made our way to the Golden Gate Park for the days festivities. We got to hear many artists: Cake, Steve Winwood, Ben Harper, Tom Petty, and many more that just topped off day. Sunday was once again great. We shopped a bit in the morning and then headed across town, Andrew Bird, the cool kids: who were so fun to dance to, and Jack Johnson were my favorites for that day but there were many more that we enjoyed. I am so thankful for my friend nate because he let us stay for free at his place in union square and it was perfect. Sunday night after the concert we loaded BART and came back to drive home... from there I drove in the mid of the night up to chico because SCHOOL started the next day.

Camping with some of my favorite people.

Jillian, Grant, Andrew and Brady went camping with me for a weekend in Colfax at Rollins Lake. We had sucha fun time.
We arrived late friday night adn sent up camp in the dark. Got up the next morning to a beautiful sunrise, well I woke up that early, hot coffee and cereal and off we went wake boarding and tubing all day long. We had great food. Deli sandwiches and a cold beverage never tasted so good in the warmth of the day.
Between submarine diving by the boys, elbow skiing, and tube wars... the day couldn't get any better. I found myself truly in love with camping and the events of the day. Steak Fajitas for dinner and some smores were the perfect beginning for star gazing that night. Sunday morning came so fast. We enjoyed the water once again and then packed up and came home.

JOHN MAYOR

I went to the John Mayor concert in Wheatland. it was so fun. I went with nick and Kate and i had a blast. I never knew that John was so talented on the guitar. He had skills. We had lawn seats because it was a chill concert, even though we were offered seats that were closer to the stage. The Wheatland amphitheater was sweet. I am trying to attend a concert every year and so far I have accomplished that these past few years. Pictures are necessary and will come soon.

Summer!

So At the beginning of the summer I went on an amazing study abroad trip. i cant believe its already been two months since i got back, doesn't seem possible. I feel in love with Italian culture and all that it entails. I miss the cappuccino in the morning when I walked down the street to the local cafe and got to converse in another language. When I came home, reality was like a brick wall. But I knew that God would be right there like he was all the way across the world. Thats crazy to me. I have been on this spiritual high these past few months and I cant wait to see what up next. I know that God has amazing things planned and I am content with my life, where it is right now. WOrking at the Perk and living on my own has shaped a different Brittney! I feel like i have been challenged with loneliness, contentment, self image and trusting in Him. I have found out that i really enjoy learning more about myself and the things that I like to do that i never knew before. I am very interested in reconstruction of furniture whether it be new and altering it or on the curb and needing some loving. I have done a few projects and I will post them soon.

Personal notes to write about when I have time.....

Italy......
Sistine chapel- ceiling, walls, guard.... museums leading up to the chapel itself...
Art... Eutrican museum
FLorence and Pisa
Cooking class
SHopping
Devotions
Challenges with flat mates

ROMA!!!!

I have beenin Rome for six days and I finally got to go shopping today. Thebuildings are absolutely beautiful. The arcitecture is beyond what you think would be beautiful. It is magnificent. I have taken over 500 photos in five days. Crazy. I cant imagine how many hours it will take me to process these pictures and be able to look through them. I look forward to seeing my friends at home. I miss them dearly. I miss my family alot. I wish they were here with me but someday I will have to come back to be their tour guide. I have learn quite a bit of italian but I think that I will be somewhat literate before conversational. I will post photos later. Ciao for now.

Italy

I will be embarking on one of the biggest journeys of my life so far in less than two days. I am blessed with the opportunity to go to Italy for a study abroad program. I will be going for three weeks with 20 people who were strangers, some still are, only weeks ago. I am looking forward to what God is going to do over then next three weeks. I am challenged already to Trust in Him completely not only with nursing school applications, living situations for next year in chico, and what is going to happen next. I know that within these next few days I will be challenged more than I ever thought I would be. Challenged spiritually, emotionally, physically, and relationally. I have noticed all of the close friends I have who care enough to call me and talk before I leave, who want to get together with me and who send messages of all kinds before thursday night. When the clock strikes 3 I will be driving to the sacramento airport, saying goodbye to my family, loading a plane and flying half way across the world. Amazing. I am so excited. We will be spending the first week in Rome... we are learning conversational italian and humanities of the italian culture. 6 units within three weeks, any student knows that's crazy and by the way try to enjoy the scenery at the same time. Life is beautiful, fun, overly enjoyable, hard, challenging, and so worth every heartache, pain, struggle, discontentment and difficult decision. I will over the next few weeks try to post a few pictures of Italy and comment about the journey so far. So to those who do read you will be updated on the latest with my life through this site. Desire every day to be desired, love everyday because you are loved, be happy with the life that you are blessed with, and fulfill your dreams because no one else will do it for you.

Ironman

I just saw Ironman and I am stoked! It was such an amazing movie. I definitely enjoyed it. I encourage you all to see it! I saw it with my two of my favorite people in the world...My sister and bro-in-law. I didn't realize how much I missed them until I spent more than five minutes with them. i am so blessed to have siblings that really care about me and everything that I am involved in. they know what to ask, how to push my buttons, what makes me happy, they know my expressions without saying a word. I am grateful. Go see the movie if you haven't yet.

When? Where? What? Why? Who?

When will I hear from the nursing schools? Where willI be next semester? What should I be doing? Why do I feel pressure from society to know my schedule? Who truly cares when I hear, where I go, what I will be doing? I don't know any of these answers but I do know the tone of voice that comforts me when I have all of these feelings, thoughts, desires, and curiousities. I am trying with all of my being to trust fully in God for these answers and i know that I only will get these answers by waiting, patiently. I am not worthless. I am not a failure just because I haven't been accepted. Trust! I will trust. Even when I am still confused I will know that I can trust in Him and see the outcome in the future looking back and worshipping and thanking God for his hand in my life.

Speechless!

I think that we tend to put God in a box... We act like we don't need His help, like we know what is best for our lives, and we tend to only cling to Him in our times of struggle. Today, I was in amazement of who God is, not like an everyday amazement that I get, but an overwhelming, tears of joy and love, chills all over my body amazement. I can't even imagine standing face-to-face with Jesus. Just feeling his presences is unbearable, I find myself humbled, overjoyed, and real. God is showing me how to trust in Him and how to spend precious time with Him, blocking out all of the noise and distractions. Even though we may not know where the road is traveling if we just look up and not worry about the next step we will find ourselves in love with the creator, awestruck by His beauty and captivated in His character. "Look Up! Don't Worry!" says the Lord in my heart. "Trust!"

What is this feeling?

I have this feeling that I can not describe. Tears run down my face, submission seems necessary but what to? I am content with my life, really I am, even in the valley. I know that nursing school is somewhere in the future just don't know when or where. I know that if I can just continue to trust in God that it will all work for the good. But still, I am human...I have pain, disappointment, loneliness, happiness, joy, comfort. I find myself driving to chico and acting like Christ is sitting in my passenger seat... that leads to tears as I unload all that I am going through, anger, disappointment, curiosity of the future, which leads to submission, joy and belting out worship music with a stuffy nose, red eyes, and the most love, grace and mercy I could ever imagine. This happened today. Finding myself in the mist of God and not caring what lies around me. 

The Power of Prayer

Prayer... When life gets to hard to stand... kneel. This quote is carrying me through this night. My heart is breaking in pain and agony. Someone so close to me is experiencing pain that is unbearable. Prayer is the only answer, kneeling is the only position that seems  reverent. Emotions invade my innermost being. Vocal prayer is wanted to comfort her, tears run down my face as I mourn for her discomfort. Night after night and still no sleep seems unfair for someone already bearing so much. Thank you God for the grace and mercy that you continue to give us. Prayer is were I will remain. God is Good all the time even in the middle of the night. 

Technology Runs Life?

Has our modern technology become our everything? I was blessed to not have a phone for 24 hours not by choice but in the end it has influenced me greatly. Not having a phone made me realize how dependent we(most) are on our cell phones. My friends numbers are in there, my way of communication is there, my way to tell time is there, and most of all time wasted is there. I have realized that yes cell phones are great to keep in contact with people that you can't see everyday or so often but truly we butcher that and tweak it to become our email, scheduler, internet-on-the-go and  a necessity to have. But I am blessed to have such a wonderful thing. I can keep in contact with friends far away and that is such a blessing. And if I control the phone and not let it control me, which for some random reason I feel bad not answering a phone call, our perspective about life might change. It may become more personal in the reality of life, instead of hiding behind the phone to have a conversation. It's physical interaction with conversation that leads to a closer friendship. Check your viewpoint? Where Your time is spent?

New Friendships

New Friendships bite you in the rear sometimes when you least expect it. You could just be going about your normal everyday life and the next thing you know you are having Aca taco with a young lady at Teaz Me. The next thing that you know is that you want to tell your new friend about your life from your childhood to the present and everything in between. But every new friendship is tested.... you either can pass the test and become friends or you can show your true colors and not make the cut. Well traveling passes the test with flying colors. I was blessed to be able to travel to colorado to meet Daylene and share with her personal details of my life and water the seed that had been planted at Teaz Me. Thank God for communication advances for us to communicate. When Daylene came out to California I was so excited to spend more time with her. From the Bidwell Park to late night comversations, our friendship has began to grow. I am so blessed to know Daylene. To get the opportunity to have a friendship that is true and centered in Christ is rare. I had a blast with her and I look forward to the next visit whether California or Colorado here I come!

Fondue with Don and Jo

Tonight I had Don and Jo over for fondue. It was the best unique dinner I have had in a while at my house. I haven't gotten the chance to cook this semester but Fondue is definitely one of my favorite things to eat with company. The conversation was full of God and the mighty things that are happening in my life and theirs in return. They are amazing people and I am so blessed to know them. 

Menu: Top Sirloin Steak, 

potatoes, squash, 

mushrooms, bread 

and gorgonzola cheese.

Dessert: strawberries,

bananas, and rice krispies 

in chocolate.... YUM!

Falling in love with this amazing man!

Ever since moving to Chico, my life has changed dramatically. I have fallen in love with this amazing man who continues everyday to captivate me. He is what every woman desires. Who every man should want to be. in the park He takes my breathe away, in the darkness its His voice that I cling to, when i am joyful it is because of Him. I can not and want not to flee from His presence. Without Him my life is nothing. With Him I have life. I find joy in life because of Him. I love to sit and just have "coffee" time with Him. Have you seen his creation? It blows me away. Have you seen the world from His eyes? I know that he thinks that i am beautiful, that He wants me only for himself, that He pursues me constantly every hour. I am in love with Christ!!!!! I am moved by the holy spirit and what He is doing in our lives. I got to be in these blossom orchards and I was speechless. Nothing else mattered to me. 

My first Blog

I am creating a blog to keep some of my friends up to date on my life and hopefully to encourage those who see my blog to fall deeper in LOVE with Christ. I have crazy things that have happened in the last few months to me and my family. Not only has my mother been diagnosed with Breast Cancer she has become the heroine in my life that I have never had before now. She is someone who i hope to be exactly alike. She loves the Lord, cares for her family, will do whatever it takes to make sure that we are depending on God and challenging us along the way. I admire her more than I have any other woman. 

My new chapter of life.

Turning the next page.... It has become evident that i have started a new chapter in my life. I am investigating my character to form it into a woman after God's own heart. My life is in the Potters hands, He is removing all that is not beautiful in his eyes and He is sculpting me into this piece that only He knows what I will look like, the texture of my skin, the curves of my heart and the strength that I have. Only He can mold me.