Life like a shoppng cart!

As I walked up to the grocery store, I did not think about the kind of shopping cart I would get. I just knew that it would do the job when I used it. So I choose a cart and went on my way. Half way through my shopping excursion, my cart started acting weird. The wheel started bouncing and wobbling around, this wheel started to make it difficult for me to go about my normal shopping. Then it dawned on me- What if our lives are like shopping carts? We are going about our normal business or use and then we get a flat or a wobbling wheel that makes life so much harder to live the daily life. We struggle with the physical being but also we allow the wobbling wheel to get to us. Some people can ignore the wheel, some have to stop living with it and get a new one, but others allow the wobbling wheel to be influential. So what is right? Is there a right? As I was deciding which butter to buy I came to the conclusion that I am the type to just deal with it. I know that its happening, I know that I could do something about the wheel but I also know that maybe in this point in time of my life I need to be with this cart. This cart is perfectly normal, but they are dealing with something that everyone deals with at one point in time. My wobbling wheel is me missing those that i love. I don't want it to be a distraction but then again I know that I am here in Nevada for a reason. I look forward to being a nurse and Serving those around me.

Turkey Day with GRAYvy!

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I am anxiously awaiting the turkey with cranberry sauce, the mashed potatoes, grandma's stuffing, uncle mikes drunken yams, and grandpa's famous apple pie a la mode. Yes the food is beyond good and something that i cant wait for but what makes this holiday my favorite, is my family, the people that I love. Every year we go around the table and talk about what we are personally thankful for for that past year. I have been thinking about what I am going to say for a week now and I have come to a mental draft. I am so thankful for my family. For my parents and what they have done for me. I am thankful for my siblings and the fun things that we get to experience together. But what I am even more thankful for is the relationship that I have with the Lord and all the growth that has occurred over this past year. For without this growth I wouldn't be in the arms of an amazing Man of God...GRAY! God intends for us to be together and it is obvious because of the encouragement, respect, love, and commitment that we have for each other and to the Lord. So I am thankful for Gray. I am thankful that the Lord provides for our every need. He provides over and abundantly for us. He doesn't have to give us a thing. He doesn't have to give us joy, love, grace, peace, excitement, hope or even life but He does because He loves us. He cares for us beyond anyone else can in our life. So what are you thankful for? What makes your heart feel like it can't get any happier or can't get any more full of love that is overflowing?

Chain Linked!

When I think about a chain link fence I think of isolation, separation, and distance. When I think about those descriptions... I ask myself why I let things isolate me from God, why do I walk away from His promises. Do I think that the fence is something that God choose to place there or did I place it there myself because I didn't want to deal with something? God continually encourages us to break down the fences we put up... sure we can see God still through the chain link fence or barrier that we have placed up because we know that we don't want to go through life by ourselves. But we for some reason like to think that that fence isn't holding us back from anything. When I was on my walk today, I was encouraged to see this fence, my mind started thinking about how we place barriers in our lives. God got a hold of me and confirmed that He doesn't want anything to get in the way of our relationship with Him. A relationship with barriers from being completely together is lacking something. Physical touch, intimacy emotionally, growth spiritually. So this chain linked fence is blocking God from being close with us. He desires our attention, He desires our Hearts to be set on Him, and He yearns for a closer relationship with us. So go get some chain snips and start breaking down the fence between yourself and God.

Life is a Box of Chocolates

They say that life is a box of chocolates.....If you describe what a box of chocolate means in its significant state, words like smooth & creamy textures, Loved, Delicious, Cherished, Thought of, Wanted, and Special are just a few that would come to mind. But if we look at it through the phrase "a box of chocolates" doesn't always mean something positive. A box of chocolates if ate all at once would actually become negative; one would gain weight, feel sick from the sugar bomb to their stomach, have a caffeine headache, wouldn't enjoy the 20th bite as much as the first few, bite into something that is not what you expected, maybe the box of chocolates wasn't what you expected -dark choc rather than milk choc, or cherry filling-. So if Life was "Like a Box of Chocolates" would we become numb to the mountain top experiences of the first bite by the monotonous consistency of what we were eating? The unbalanced box of chocolates experience is empty, unsatisfying. We cant experience mountain top all the time without becoming numb, and we cant hurrying up life to experience the last bite because we would forget what we are eating at each bite along the way. So with balance we experience each blessing with a single bite at a time. We get to know what we are missing when we are not eating chocolates, and we get to look forward to experiencing that taste again. We have to cherish each moment for we don't know when its our last. So life can be like "A box of Chocolates" as long as you balance your consumption. To have this balance you trust that God will supply the chocolates, will carry you through each day, will remain true to His promises of who HE is and take each moment like its your last. Cherish Life, cherish those who are in your life and eat some delicious chocolate!

A Single Brick in The Great Wall of China

If the Great Wall of China represented life and each brick represented a person would it make life more important if you knew that someone else was depending on you. Depending on you to make a difference in their life. SO you ask yourself the question am I making a difference in life and in those lives around me? Am I sharing the Love of Jesus and am I encouraging them to see God's love and grace? I want to be different. Be that person who actually made a difference in life. I want to be a single brick that stands out, that supports those around it, who is selfless, and who is solid in Jesus.

Change of State

Well School starts this week and I can't wait to become a nurse. I have been waiting for this day for a long time. I am anxious to have a schedule and do what God has created me to do. When I got my letter that proclaimed that I got into nursing school, I was overjoyed. I am so amazed by what God is doing in my life. I am happy-oh so happy. I know that we go through things for a reason. I am away from the love of my life for a reason. I am away from my family for a reason.... that reason is to focus on this school that God has blessed me with and to focus on Him during this trying time. Changing states seems to not be that big of a deal really but the change of mental state is harder than just a few hours of time. It requires weeks of transition. I know that what lies ahead is going to hard, its going to be lonely but I do know that God is with me. He wants me to trust in Him. He comforts me if I just seek His love and mercy. So I choose to not worry, to not doubt if He is with me, Becasue I know that He is right beside me.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18
So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. 17 For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, 18 as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.

The Art and Beauty of Change

On my morning walk this morning, I was in awe of the trees that were changing colors. As I look at the yellow leaves of the tree turning red, I wonder why only a few of them change? I would definitely say that fall is my favorite season. I anticipate the changing colors of the leaves and the beautiful display of leaves on the ground. Am I anticipating the beauty of how our earth looks at this time of year or am I fond of how it makes me want to worship and praise Jesus more and more each morning... each tree I see? The feeling of being close to God feeling the love that is between us makes me want to show love and comfort to those around me.
Our world, His Creation, points to His glory, His splender and majesty... everything that he has created is meant to draw us closer to Him and make us fall in love with Him. Are you looking at the things around you in awe? Or Are you numb to the fact that God has created such a beautiful place and has created us to experience all of these overwhelming feelings. I am overwhelmed by His love for us, by His grace for us and His mercy.

Brad-Bentley Concert

Brad Paisley and Dierks Bentley played at the Sleep Train Amphitheater Saturday Sept 26th, at 730 pm. Nick, Katelyn and Daniel Paul loaded up in the GMC and met up with Kate's neighbors and drove to Marysville. We had so much fun tailgating in the parking lot before the concert. Mexican food, White salsa that's beyond amazing, friends, and country music... life is good. We sat on the lawn on blankets and the crowd kept getting bigger and bigger. The theater was packed. Jimmy Wayne opened for Dierks Bentley who opened up for Brad Paisley. I had a blast hanging out with Kate and Nick. With Kate 6 weeks prego she was nauseated so her oyster crackers were her best friend. Dierks was great. So many great songs that he performed. Paisley was great too. It was so fun to dance to the music and sing to the popular songs. I loved spending time with Kate and Nick but I missed Graham a lot. Every where I looked a saw couple after couple so I was thinking about Graham even more than usual. No complaints but i missed him. I am so exited to see him this week...

From the Pulpit

Today in church I was encouraged so much by Greg Fairrington's Sermon. Back in Biblical time there were living sacrifices to show praise. How could anyone want to offer up a dead sacrifice to show passion for God and to praise Him with less than what He deserves. Are we offering up dead praise to God? Are we really acting as worshipers of Jesus Christ or are we just giving enough to look the part? Where is your heart on Worship? Are you alive and passionate about worshiping God or are you a dead sacrifice of Praise? I was on fire at church knowing that I want to be a living sacrifice by living each day in complete attitude of worship and be in awe of His creation.

Falling In Love With God Before You Can Fall In Love With Anyone Else.

So I am reading this book called "A Love Worth Giving" by Max Lucado. I am challenged by it in so many ways. It talks about the love that is necessary to have before you love a spouse. It's founded upon the Bible and the relationship that God desires for you to have with him. Not structured on feelings but on commitment, on trust. I am realizing how much our relationships with God are very similar to that of a relationship with a man on earth. For ones on earth, we desire to spend time with them, bend over backwards to plan a time to be with them. Change plans, Change clothing, Think of creative ways to be with them, do things for them.... Do we treat God the Same?

Do you change your clothing, and how you appear to others to honor Him? Do you try to change things around in your schedule to meet with Him? Do you do things for Him out of Love and with a servants Heart, Not expecting anything in return?

Man these questions are hitting me hard... God has placed them on my heart. I want to have this kind of love with God. I desire to love Him in deeper ways. I want Him to feel like I sacrifice things out of love not out of expectation of an outcome or a gift. Yes God does bless those who love and desire to honor Him for His plan and purpose but it shouldn't be expected. To know that God will bless you because you know He knows whats best for you is one thing but telling God the outcome or gift that you expect... seems to me selfish and not honoring whatsoever to Him.

I know that I feel like my heart is going to explode with love and joy for the man I love on earth... I have the "joy of Jesus" (as my mother would say) in my heart and for life but I want my heart to feel like its about to burst for Jesus (I mean it feels a little of that at times...). I know that God is spectacular. I am in awe of Him everyday. I see creation and want to fall to my knees in worship. I have knowledge of the development and growth of a fetus and I am in absolute amazement of the power He has. I want to love God and serve Him better than I love and serve my man on earth. I want God to feel loved from my service for Him and by me honoring Him... everyday.

Things I would like to do someday.

Snow Shoe
Learn how to snowboard
Hike Half Dome
Be creative by using a door for a coffee table: constructing it of course to have legs.
Learn how to use Clip ins on a road bike
Go Camping at Yosemite
Drive a snow mobile
Become good at playing the piano or the Chello
Make a wedding cake for someone that I care about
Travel to other countries
Travel across the United states by car
Ride in a water plane
See the sunset on top of a mountain

A Blessing in Disguise!

I have been searching and seeing how God's plan is being lived out. I look back and see how the hard and difficult things in the past years of my life are more than a blessing to my life. Yes at the time I was flooded with emotion and anxiety. Uncertainty and doubt but I was unaware of the plan the God intended for my life. I was distracted by seeing only the negative things. I am making a commitment to myself to try and look at the positive aspects of each situation that I am confronted with. New beginnings, new situations, new relationships, old and new friendships, new schedules, new perspectives on life.... I want to be positive. To know and trust that God will carry me through every situation if I choose to see the benefit or outcome or not. That's why its called FAITH! To
Fully
And
Intently
Trust
Him.
I choose that kind of Faith... in every situation. God you have my complete heart and all my love. I give you my life because I know that you have given your life for me... to know that you will continue to bless me with mercy and love even though I deserve it nothing from you. Thank God for that. For His beautiful Love for US!

Change at the Drop of a Hat

I got into Touro University's Nursing School in Henderson, Nevada. My heart is overjoyed to see God answer prayers within my life. God is truly giving me the desires of my heart... to the core depth of things that I didn't even know about. Nursing school: I have been desiring to be a nurse for years now. I have been praying about getting into nursing school, been prayed for by those who love me, been encouraged, discouraged by past rejection letters... but the ultimate picture and plan that is visible now, makes me want to get on my knees and praise God for what He is doing. I had to completely surrender everything to God. The decision to give Everything was given up while I was in Africa. I came to the point of complete realization that I have to trust everyday, in every situation, in all things in the Lord. I can't do this alone. I don't want to do this alone. As I look back on the past rejection letters and past things that have occurred...I am in complete surrender and vulnerability. God knew exactly what I needed to do within my life, within my spiritual life, and within my relationship before I got into nursing school. I needed to learn how to do devotions consistently and in a way that I can meet with the Lord so that my spiritually life would grow and not be stagnate during nursing school. I needed to go to Africa and be encouraged to serve those around me in my life here at home. Another thing that is an answer to prayer is A man: who loves the Lord, Loves me, Adores who I am, Likes the little things about me, and respects me and lifts me up in the Lord. That is beautiful. Praise God for that. He is encouraging to me on multiple levels and our friendship is centered on Christ which gives our relationship a strong foundation. I have been praying for a man of God who desires to be a better person everyday. Who desires to live a life that is honorable and respectful. He is a good man. I am grateful for the Lord's hand in my life and the many things that are happening. I look forward to seeing what God has for my life in these next few months and years.

Chains Are Broken

Chains are sometimes present in our minds... chained to an idea that we have placed there. Not only have we locked that chain to the thought but we also keep our minds focused on it until we forget completely how it even got there. Am I waiting on the Lord to come and letting His glory fall on my life? Am I keeping my mind shackled to a worldly desire that i placed there? I don't want these chains of burden and of separation. I want to be one with Christ, desiring what He desires for my life, striving to be that woman of God who shines His light. I want to break these chains from bondage and allow God to be revealed and let my life be that of an ultimate sacrifice. I surrender my life completely. I am waiting on the Lord today, I am supposed to hear back from the nursing school soon. I give God the key to all the locks I have put on my mind and on my heart, I only want what He has for my life. I want to stand at his feet with my arms wide and face tilted up asking him to pick me up, to comfort me in such a way that a little girl would run to her father...yearning to be close to HIM. I want to place my head on his chest and know that he is soaking up the intimate time that we are sharing. I want to give him that feeling of love and the feeling of being wanted from my life.

TIA: This is Africa

• Traffic control is non-existent, driving on the side walks and on the other side of the road whenever you choose.
• Carrying some rubbish on the back of a Zimmy
• Four people on a two-seater Zimmy. (Motor bike)
• Babies only strapped to their mother on the back of a moving vehicle asleep
• A fishing boat: instead of fixing the hole in the bottom of the boat they just use a bucket to remove the water.
• A woman carrying a Bucket of Water on her head while scurrying across a busy intersection… not spilling one drop
• Living with an inch deep of water on the floor of your house.
• Toddlers working on the side of the street with their parents.
• Where a 3 years old isn’t screaming their head off because they got the wrong toy, or because they didn’t get something that they wanted
• Hearing "Yovo, Yovo" while walking down the street. (meaning white person, white person)
• The President of the Country just happens to show up at a sports arena.
• A trail of goats walking on the side of the road following their master.
• Gasoline being sold by a ten year old on the side of the road from a jar
• Painting toes means the world to a little girl.
• Two grown men holding hands to show brotherly love for one another.
• Fishing in a canoe with 9 people helping with the net; only to receive a handful of fish

Homecoming:

As I open my second to last letter from my family, there is a daily bread devotion for today, July 29th, titled Homecoming. How appropriate for me to be reading this devotion. The amount of excited that is going through my body is priceless. I am looking forward to going home and seeing my family. I realize every time I am apart from my family for a long period of time how much they mean to me. I take them for granted sometimes. I have learned that I need to give more patience to my family; to treat them as if they are not related in accordance to speaking to them with respect and not demean them. It is so great to have such a close relationship with someone that they know what you feel just by seeing your demeanor, or they know what you will say in response. That is priceless. What makes me even more speechless is the relationship that we can have with God. It is never ending. You can’t reach a dead end. God is so deep and intimate with us that we can spend our entire lifetime here on earth searching to know Him better but to know God entirely requires us to have a commitment with Him so that we may spend eternity getting to know how amazing He really Is. That to me is astonishing because the humility that I feel in his presence now, with the knowledge that I have now of Him, seems to take over my life. I want to kneel before Him on judgment day and hear His words of “Well done, Good and Faithful Servant”. That will be the ultimate homecoming. I can imagine how much my family desires to see me, yearns for my attention, and cant wait to have me in their arms; given that I can only imagine how God feels to have me in His kingdom, to spend every moment of my time to worship Him.

Leaving Cotonou, Benin

My bags are packed, my forms are signed, passport in hand, and a warm goodbye. As I packed for the trip home, a bitter sweet feeling rose up in my heart. I have made a few friends/acquaintances that I truly enjoyed getting to know… but their are two friends that will remain friends for hopefully a lifetime. These two girls influenced my life while in Cotonou. Their love for the Lord and their beautiful joyful spirit is contagious. As they both hand me goodbye-for-now letters there is a special place in my heart for them. They are giving and selfless. The love that I felt when leaving was encouraging. I have memories with each one. From the Left in the picture: Hannah, my san Fran girl, who was so open and willing to share who she is and get to know me better. Sarah Oliver, From England, my craft market excursion partner. She and I walked all over Benin trying to find this market, come to find out that we were parading around it like a Carousel. Shauna, From Ohio, who is such a fun person to be around and she has a great taste in music (country girl). Deb, my Australian Mate, who has a contagious laugh and joy for life that I hope to catch. Miriam, who is so sweet and giving, she is attentive and caring. All these girls I learned something from. Memories of intimate talks on deck 8, to games in mid-ships, watching the dive team, experiencing the African life in town; from excursions to markets, to restaurants, and to beaches and riding little tricycles and taking fun photos on my last evening aboard. These are the things that I will miss.

Sittin on a swing!

While sitting on the swing on deck 7 this morning and reading, Romans chapter 5 came to mind. I started reading it in complete solitude:

"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."

This passage speaks for itself. It spoke to me so clearly that I thought that a light was turned on. I know that in the past I have persevered and that i have gained character and hope through it but i have experienced a greater hope and faith in the Lord by spending time with him. I have had a great "vacation-growth time" with the Lord. I look forward to going back to my life and my reality and being different. A better person I hope, I feel different. I feel at peace with my life. With my nursing school, where ever and whenever that may be; with my future and relationship that will come along. I know that God has me in the palm of his hand and that, that is what I have faith in. That God has my life planned out and He knows what I need, when I need it, and how I need it. He opens my eyes to things that have been there for years, seeing it in a different light or from a different perspective and yet along the way has been preparing me for this day my entire life so far.

My last Few Days of Work on the Africa Mercy

Well i only have two more days of work left in the Galley on the Africa Mercy. I havent been spending very much time blogging because I have been trying to stay afloat with being here and not on the internet. I have been blessed with so many people so many situations that my heart is on overload. I work with Paige, the girl in the picture, and she is such a great fun, out going girl. I have truly enjoyed the time that I have gotten singing worship songs while cutting cucumbers or peeling carrots for 400 hundred people. I have found that worship is the ultimate gift of staying in close relationship with the Lord. I am encouraged on so many levels when i can sing my little heart out to a song that humbles me in the Lords presence. When just one song make my entire day a different approach to living it, or a brighter one just because my heart is in the right place. Its amazing how if you take the time in the morning to have the right priority your life changes for the better not only for that day but you also have that right mind set for life. Spending the time with the Lord is more important and much more rewarding than watching a movie or spending your time some other way... being still before the Lord is breathtaking. As i sat up on the top deck the other morning I was in awe of who God is once again. I hope that i will continue to have that feeling and that mind set for the rest of my life. I desire for the Lord to continue to put me on my knees, humble myself before him. I have a bitter sweet feeling of leaving the ship. I look forward to continuing my growth in another part of the world.

A Blessing!

As I sit up on Deck 8 with two amazing women... I am blessed with their presence. These women love the Lord, Have a passion to serve people (nurses on the ship) and to serve the Lord and their hearts reflect that of love and joy. A blessing it was to spend time on deck 8 and to hear a testimony of how Deb's life touched so many just through her desire to follow Jesus attentively. She shared her story with me one of such physical pain and emotional growth. She shouldn't be alive from the great heights that she had fallen and the amount of bones that she broke... her life is a blessing because of the Lord's Mercy and Hand in her life. As I listen to her I see the intimacy that she desires and that she has with the Lord. She speaks of Him with reverence and with love. Her life is a living example of how amazing God is and how if you give your ENTIRE life to Him, he will bless you in more ways that one. I know that the pain that she endured, the growth that she went through and the patience that she had during her accident; has, is and will be used to glorify God in more ways than one. Her joyful spirit and passion for life is contagious. It just goes to show you that if you trust in the Lord with all your heart you can get through anything. It is only through a miracle that Deb is sitting next to me telling me about her story. Her persistence to follow Jesus and be different changed her life completely... and whats more beautiful is that she was trusting the Lord through anything. She is an encouragement to me and I appreciate her life and the blessing of her story.

Holding Hearts in the Palm of Our Hands

Just because you are a Christian doesn’t mean that you all of a sudden have a key to how to deal with every situation. I mean how great would that be... a program that you can say "Ok here’s the situation.. now tell me what to do." We don’t know how to go about certain things. I mean God didn’t write out what you should do in every situation. So I ask myself “How do I go about those difficult situations?” Well a thought has been placed in my mind, if we love our neighbors as ourselves. If we treat them with the love that Christ has for us… then that must be the answer. We have to pray and be in union with the Lord within every moment that we have. If God doesn’t keep track of time and his timing is different then ours then who are we to say yeah I think that its time to stop trying to love my friend or love my co-worker. Do you truly love those around us like Jesus loved… No, we don’t always love those around us, we are totally wired to be focused on ourselves. We need to know that those that we love or show love to are the only people that we have. We hold peoples hearts in our hands... be careful with them by showing love in every situation.

Trusting completely? Really?

So a close friend of mine brought up a topic that sparked a thought and made me want to search my heart.... If we worry and are fearful about what lies ahead then are we trusting God? Are we giving Him our lives completely? Our lives now a days are so fast paced and so driven by stress. Today in our community meeting someone shared a different perspective to the english term... A.S.A.P. When we see this we think.. as soon as possible, hurry-hurry, be stressed out of your mind to get the task done. Well in relativity to a new state of mind.. A.S.A.P. should mean... always say a prayer. I mean if you think about it, that is exactly where our mind set needs to be when we are stressed or rushed to do something. To "always say a prayer" means that you are inviting God to be included on what is happening in your life. You are setting your heart on what God wants for your life not tackling it all on your own. You are trusting.... when you pray about it, the worry or stress should be given all to the Lord. I am talking to myself here. I mean seriously I have to remind myself everyday that I need to get my mind set right. I find that if my heart is focused on God at the start of my day, it is hard to worry about the little things. SO I ask myself... am I fearful of what the world may challenge me or am I fearful of the Lord?

Sound that Brings me to tears!

As the hammer hits against the strings of a grand piano, the vibrations resonate in my ears. I am amazed how such a beautiful sound can make me so tender to the voice of God. God is so beautiful, so amazing, I am in awe of his creation of feelings, touch, sound, the human body, His presence. I am full of life and want to love on those around me. I want to shout on the mountain tops how much I am in Love with GOD! How his presence makes me fall to my knees, How his comfort is all that I need, How I just want to sing praises to Him every moment! that is how I feel this morning. As the piano continues to play my heart is warmed. I feel like its the perfect sound to be humbled in Jesus' presence.

A trip to the Capital of Benin: Porto-Novo

On Saturday morning I was invited to go along with 7 other girls and two fellas to drive to the capital city. I was really excited to go since it is the last free Saturday that I have in Africa for this trip. We loaded up into a land rover and drove 30 minutes, chatting along the way. When we arrived into town we stopped at the local street markets and walked around a bit to stretch our legs. We found this Voodo place that was selling some interesting dead animals. The smell was beyond rancid, it was so bad that it gave me a stomach ache. We then got into the car and drove around to find a new stadium that had just been opened up to the public about a hour an hour before. We got out and followed the crowd into the stadium. As we were walking a helicopter was flying overhead and everyone started to get so excited. The stadium was beautiful.... the grass was so green and the structure was like something back at home. When we got to the other side of the stadium... we found out that the President of Benin had flown in to give the opening of the stadium an initiation. The crowd was so overjoyed and intent on meeting the president. The stadium had vendors... but their vendors were walking around with their product in containers on their heads. They had doughnuts, cinnamon rolls, Ice cream (Fan Milk- the vanilla is my favorite), they had bread and drinks, and they had pineapple. I have never seen someone skin a pineapple so fast. The woman would sharpen her knife in front of you then skin it right in front of your eyes within a minute.... all in one spiral piece. I was impressed.
As the futbol game started the crowd filtered in and started to cheer. The team was a younger league but their skill level was amazing. We watched the game a bit then headed to a another market to walk around. There really wasn't much to do in Porto-Novo but I am glad that I went. I had a great experience. Beth, a nurse from Australia, is in the picture with me at the stadium.

My Team in the Galley

My boss took my team out to dinner Friday night to O'Grill. In the picture we have from the Back Left: Andrien, Sam, Jesse, Luke, Arethra, Me, then Paige and Lorenda. We had such a great time sitting together outside on the patio of the restaurant. We laughed and had such a great time making fun of each other and sharing special moments in the galley. Like when Sam threw a large melon into a sink of water right in front of me and got me soaked! Its an initiation of new galley crew members but it was fun! Those are the type of things that I will remember. Like how slippy the floor is and how you can dance so much better in the galley then on any other floor... especially doing the mashed potato dance move. We blast the music and sing, dance, we shared testimonies over peeling carrots, and laughed at music selections on each persons ipod; those are the memories that I will remember.

CHildren Of God

The Children of Africa make the experience real and difficult. They yell "White Person White Person, hello, Good morning and afternoon, thank you" in French as we walk by them. They dance around because they are so excited to see us. Although some children are scared of us because they have never seen a white person before. They stare at you until you look at them, they want your attention and you to smile. They wave with such intensity and joy. Their lives are harder than any I have seen before and yet they are still joyful and full of life. The children are different here, they work at such a young age that it makes them understand how hard life is. Their childhood is different than what I am accustomed to. I mean when is the last time you saw a little girl oh about 7 years of age, carrying a bucket full of fruit in a "farmers market" setting. She was working at the age of 7, or a little girl who was preparing some herbs with her grandmother to sell on the side of the road.
The excitement as we drive by or the children running after our car makes me full of joy and warmth. Just look at these beautiful children that I got a few snap shots of... they are beautiful beyond belief.

Eviceration Surgery

This blog might be a bit much for my squeamish ones. Caution blood is mentioned a few times. In the locker room I put on the blue scrubs provided for me to wear during my viewing. As I look in the mirror my heart is excited to know when I will actually get to put on this attire everyday for my career. I slip into the little booty coverings for my shoes, put on the hat and with my camera in hand walk into the operating room. As I walk in there are four patience in the chairs. the room is warmer than a typical surgical room, the smell is a different smell and all the medical staff greet me with a smile or a common "who just came in" glance. I stand in a place that I can see all four Tv's that are showing the surgeries that are occuring at that time. Cataracts are the focus of this operating room. I choose to watch this one doctor for he was teaching a local surgeon how to do this special advanced procedure. He seemed to be the teaching type: calm, well spoken, knowledgeable, patient. His name Is Glenn. As I watched the first surgery I got a little hot and a bit anxious because i haven't seen s surgery in quite some time. I distract myself a bit as I glance over the chart on the wall with the structure of the eye. After my core temperature and blood pressure went back to somewhat normal I finished watching the remaining of the surgery.
Glenn then invited me to come watch his next surgery which was an Evisceration surgery. An Evisceration surgery is the removal of the inner parts of the eye. In this patients situation, she had some trauma to one of her eyes and has been blind (in her right eye only) ever since. Glenn asked me if I have ever seen a surgery as bloody as this one before and i said only on TV. I was never once grossed out, I was fascinated the entire time I was there. He began the surgery and I was amazed. He removed the cornea and there was a black mass in her eye. Glenn had never seen such a thing before and removed it to find that it was an encapsulated calcified mass. Glenn said because of the trauma its most likely that their was something in her eye and since it was foreign to her body, her body took defense and protected itself. I wanted to dissect this thing... I took a picture of it which one of the pictures but I edited out the bloody stuff for my squeamish viewers. Glenn then sewed up the eye after inserting a glass ball to give the eye shape, and then gave her a prosthetic eye that she can remove and insert herself. I was so excited to get to be apart of one of the most interesting surgeries on the ship and get to experience the blessing that Mercy ships is taking a part in. These patients are being blessed beyond what they ever expected.

Experiencing Beauty for the First Time in Years...

This morning I attended the VVF Ceremonies for three African Women who have successfully recovered from surgery. Their surgery was more than what it sounds it was a surgery that changes their lives in more ways than one. These women after the birth of a child had lost their control over their bladder, causing them to leak and a social out cast. Their entire lives were damaged because they didn't have the financial means to get to the doctor and get help. On the ship after each of these women recover and can function normally mercy ships holds a ceremony in their honor.
As I walk down the Hall to the Ward Joy/C I hear angels singing praise and adoration of such blessing on their lives. It is beautiful and brings joy to my heart and tears to my eyes. I cant imagine what joy they must feel to be able to return to work, be able to be socially excepted by their friends and family, and to live life with control over their own bodies. The women get a beautiful dress that is made just for them to signify a clean start. A mirror to look at themselves and tell themselves that they are fearfully and wonderfully made by God. A bar of soap to clean up with and a bottle of lotion to pamper themselves after their bath and smell nice. Their hearts are beautiful.... they gave their testimonies and then they danced and sang together. They danced like David danced, only for the honor and glory of God in praise. I was so touched by this event and the special part of their lives that will never be the same. Their past will no longer be the anchor of their future.

Beauty in a Hard Place!

May times during a hard time in my life i get the feeling that is too overwhelming to deal with. The feeling that makes life so difficult that you question your faith. This feeling I am grateful for. As many of you know what my family went through in 2008- this situation made me have this overwhelming feeling. I had no control of what was ahead, i did not know the outcome of the situation. But what I did know was that God was in control. I knew that from Romans 8:28 "And we know that God causes all things to work together for the good to those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose." My mother was called to have the faith that she had so that she could trust in the Lord through the hardest time of her life. Not to mention she was the backbone for me in my growth with the Lord during this time. She encouraged me more than I could ever have imagined. She was up lifting, her heart was full of joy, she cried and wept as she "sat" in Jesus' presence, she was fearful of the Lord and it was evident. I am not the same woman I was last year prior to my mother's situation. God has stretched me so much and prepared my heart for so many things that it is encouraging to know that God knows what lies ahead. He has prepared me to come to Africa and trust in Him in all situations. It is during the hard times that my heart yearns to cling to God's heart and to His truths but I am challenged to cling to Him in all times easy or hard. Clinging to the Lord during the hard times is a choice- A choice that can change your life entirely. I pray that my heart never loses the Love that I have for God... that I continue to fall in love with Him everyday. The growth during the hard times has you more focused and more dependent on Him in the end and that makes you a stronger person.

Four Squares Church

Four Squares Church is a local church that was held in a government building this morning. I joined a group of crew members and drove to the morning service. We had to have a translator because the service was in French, so Christian who works on the ship on the deck came with us. I have the same feeling that I did when I came back from church in Fiji. I am amazed by the expression of the locals love for Jesus. They sing and dance around the church, saying AMEN and Hallelujah as the preacher is teaching the good word. The music was beautiful, just cries of their heart in an orderly fashion. Singing praises and worship then going into the state of adoration. They spent about twenty minutes just at the beginning of the service to pray: not pray for themselves but to lift God's name up and to praise Him for the many blessings we have. I found my heart in complete humility before the Lord. I know that I am so blessed but my knowledge has increased in more than ample amounts on my status in life. I have no worries, no stresses, no deathly diseases, no hunger, no pain, and yet I still have those days that I am human and complain about something. I want to count my blessings and bless others with them. I have had a mission statement for my life for a little while now: "Bless others because I am blessed." Am I blessing others? Am I striving to be like Christ everyday? These are just questions to keep me on track, some days I cant answer them, those days should not exist. I want to strive after the heart of Jesus. After the compassion that Jesus had for each individual- that is a challenge and a goal. The picture is of a little girl whose was sitting outside of the church on the way out.

Jardin d'Eden Orphanage: Cotonou, Benin

Today the ship’s engine needed to be cleaned so that our air conditioning and filtering systems would work correctly. Well to do so means that the engines need to be turned off… our electrical system, plumbing, and anything that needs power was unable to work for at least 8 hours of the day. The ship is quiet, dark, kinda reminds me of the titanic when they are trying to escape… but we are totally fine. So as a result of this planned black out day0 many people signed up to go do something… I decided to go to the Orphanage. A group from the ship goes every week as routine. We got to the orphanage and the children flocked to greet us. We were greeted with love and absolute joy. One little girl grabbed my attention and decided to not let me go. She was so sweet. She was flirtatious with her eye contact…wanted me to hold her and love on her. After I smiled a big grin she walked over and jumped on my lap. She started investigating what I was wearing…. My necklace, my rings, the print on my skirt and the freckles on my arms. She was so precious and was yearning for attention. I found myself also desiring to be hugged. I think that being on this ship and not having the people who normally give you hugs and personal contact not present but thousands of miles away is hard for me. I contemplated the necessity for love and physical contact just in an everyday manner. I need it that’s for sure. She hugged me as much as she could as long as I would let her. She loved the way my skirt swished as I danced with her around the room. She would grab the sides of the bottom of my skirt and re-enact my motions. We sang songs as a group… some in French and some in English. But I always knew when Jesus and amen were proclaimed… amen to that huh! I was a part of the play to act out the story of the parable and the sower with the seed. The children understood it well and the interpreter said that they wanted us to do another. We did a few crafts and played some games with them all and then had to go for the children’s day needed to proceed as scheduled. We couldn't take pictures of the children just out of respect for them and to have the right approach to wanting to be there to serve not be snapping photos. I was bummed because I would have loved to take a picture of the little girl with me. I really enjoyed my experience.

Utimate Frizbee in Africa!

Every Friday afternoon- Ultimate Frisbee is played in Cotonou, Benin at the police dept field. There are a variety of different nationalities, different languages, different skin tones, different levels of skill and different outlooks on life but there is one thing that remains a constant- Jesus Christ as our bond.

The first Friday I was here I went and played. I had such a great time connecting with other crew mates in a recreational manner. I had a blast running around on the field exerting some energy and creating memories that will never leave me. I cant believe that I am half way around the world and can say that I am going to play Ultimate Frisbee. I- being the newbie that I was last week- brought my camera to take pictures of my experience. The first picture is of Paige, Myself and Claire on our way to play, the second is our playing field, and the last one is driving home on the busy streets of Cotonou, Benin.

Be Courageous: Ask for Help!

Every Thursday evening we have community meeting on the Africa Mercy Ship. This is when all of the staff join together to worship and have church basically. We had amazing worship. I was touched by the songs chosen to be played. Last nights speaker was the wife of the Chaplin on the ship, Diana. I was encouraged by her words. Help was her topic of choice but not that we would give help to those around us because we are all helping already... Mercy SHips is filled with helpers. She encouraged us to be the helpee. You know ask for Help. She then Identified how to go about the things that we are struggling to ask for help with. We have two people that are there to help us...God and our community. We have two situations that we need to ask for help with: when something is too overwhelming or too big for us to handle and when we think that we can handle that which is laid before us.
My heart was knocked upon...there isnt one huge area that I need help in but the little areas are where I find myself having too many of. I think that I can carry the small things, but I find very soon that the small things add up. A vision comes to mind for me... So you have this table of a bunch of small cans of food. Yes you can pick up one at a time and the load isnt too much, picking up two or three isnt a struggle either. So we think why cant we pick up some more... so we pick up some more not putting down or asking for help with any of them. The load becomes then too much to carry on your own, your PRIDE comes into play telling yourself that

YOU CAN DO IT! YOU DON'T NEED HELP!

your mindset is set that if you ask for help it is seen as a failure. God tells us in the Bible "himself that "I will never leave you nor forsake you"; so that we confidently can say. "The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid."" Hebrews 13:5,6 Do you believe that God is your Helper? I had to ask myself this. And if I believe this then why am I picking up so many cans and adding such a heavy burden to my life when God is right there to help me. Right there to support me when I need to carry a can or two when its time to grow, and it still doesn't hurt to ask for help to get through those growth times. God wants us to trust in him in every situation. Be courageous: ask for help. Start with smaller things and lead up to the more difficult and challenging things.

Rest

psalms 23 came to me this afternoon as i woke up from my afternoon nap. During the weekdays I have two breaks furing the day from work and they are about an hour long so I take that time to sleep and get rejuvenated. I only slept for a short time today and woke up with psalm 23 on my mind. I am so grateful for My Christian School upbringing to have memorized the first couple of verses of psalm 23. "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside still waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for His name sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for you are with me, your rod and your staff they comfort me." These verses are like warm blankets fresh out of the dryer, they warm me up to the bone and surround me with themselves. I started thinking about how the Lord is my shepherd and what it means to not want any other leader but Him. Only wanting Him to show me the way, not myself. I have heard the phrase or comparision of us to lambs or sheep. I am truly a lamb, a baby lamb at that. I have no idea where the shepherd is leading us and I am influenced by those who are wiser that me and more experienced. I have an exuberance for life and want to live it to the fullest everyday and I want to make sure that I am playing within the field that my shepherd has laid out for me. I do not want to stray from his plan, do not want to wander away from His teachings. I am learning that whatever comes of these next few weeks is what God has in store for me. I have applied to a nursing school in Nevada, Touro University, and my parents will receive a letter soon with the results of my application. I find myself thinking about getting into the school and what joy and excitement I will have to know that all of my hard work and all that my heart desires will finally pay off and come true. I also find myself knowing what disappointing feelings I will feel if I dont get in.... but then I remind myself that God has me in his hands. If this school is not for me and not where I need to be then I do not want to be there. I do not want to be out of what the Lord has for me. There have been times in my life just recently in the past year that God has had to pick me up and carry me because my heart was growing so much for him that I was having a hard time being around others. What I didn't know was that He was preparing me to overcome a hill that my family had to climb over last year. He picked me up at the bottom of the hill and carried me until He thought I could stand on my own feet. God si so amazing and his heart adn love for me and others is " " there is no word that can define it in my vocabulary right now. It is like standing at the sight of a huge mountain and being in awe of it... speechless. I am so grateful and so encouraged to know that I can rest in Him everyday and trust that he will lead me into green pastures- a peaceful and beautiful place. Find Him today, rest in the truth that "God knows all, Loves all and will protect all of those who love and worship Him."