No words for life sometimes!

A phone call. A single phone call can change someones life, a single choice can ruin another, and words can haunt your mind even when you say they wont. Today has been one of those days that you wonder if you answer the phone will it be another bad or sad story? Life is so fragile. Life is so precious of a gift that we take for granted so many times in our daily lives. It makes me come to a realization and humility that God is in control and we have to live life like today is our last. Like the moment is our last. The words spoken are our last.
By the grace of God we have the faith that we do to trust in Him and take life even more carefully then we do now. We can make a more thought out decision. We can think through words before we allow them to be said. We can focus on what God has for us and the faith that we can put in Him for knowing that in and through Him are all things. "There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the Lord." Proverbs 21:30

So tell someone how you feel at that moment. Don't hold back words that you wish you could have said when you can say them to them right now. My life is bliss as I know it and I feel selfish for not enjoying it to the fullest when such sad things are happening all around us. Grasp life.

Start to Finish to Start again.

I am so happy to say that the Lord's plan was for me to pass this exit exam. I have a huge weight lifted off my shoulders and am so happy to be striving towards the finish line with the same amount of ambition as before. I just truly enjoy this picture I found online... The finish line is not an end to the life that we live but a new beginning of new and bigger races to be run. I am excited to see what God has in store for me and for my Fiance and I as a couple. I pray that we will be able to see the true finish line and have that as our focus and enjoy the finish lines and first pages of the new chapters. I am overjoyed and beyond humbled by the power and plan that God has for me.

Update about my Heart Lately!

So I have been so consumed with school lately that I haven't had the chance to write on my blog. I have an exit exam for my nursing school and I have been anxious, overwhelmed, emotional, you name it and I probably have felt the type of worry. I have been aware that it is a waste of my time and it builds nothing to worry, so all week I have been trying to rid the feelings of really what describe "a lack of faith". I have been on my knees literally all week praying for peace and to give my anxiety up and over to Him. Well my exam got moved out for another week, which is a blessing cause I see this week as an opportunity to sort of re-live this past week which I have been worrying and actually live with faith and knowing full well my position. I went to church this morning and was filled with such humility and repentance. I have been trying to deal with the surface appearance of my anxiety rather then seeing the root of it. I have been mowing the weeds on my lawn rather then trying to kill the weeds/heart ache that lies at the root. I was doubting God. I was doubting His ability to help me pass this exam. I don't know what lies ahead with this exit exam and really I just need to sit back and do all that I can to trust in the Lord. God has the ultimate plan and I need to be aware daily of the purpose of my life. Yes this exit exam is important, yes I still need to apply myself and give all that I have to prepare for this exam, BUT NO I don't need to try and carry the burden and the future on my shoulders; cause God has it all in His hands. The illustration was used today in church of parables about how the king left his people with blessings and came back to see what they have done with them. I related this to my situation. God has placed me in this Nursing school, God has carried me through this program- no doubt; why do I think that God is going to change? I am the one who is changing. I want to use this blessing of being in nursing school to His ultimate benefit. So I am going to invest in what He has placed me in and know full well that what God has for me in the end will be for the better of His plan and purpose not for my plan. I was humbled in the presence of God today in church. It felt so good to take communion and remind myself of the sovereignty of God. With that said- Studying is where I am heading to. God is good!

Turkey Day 2010

I am sitting in the airport waiting for my delayed plane to take me home to NorCal. I am so excited to see my little niece, spend time playing with Addison and Finn, cooking with my momma and spending time with my dad, siblings and Fiance. I am so grateful to have such a wonderful family. My life couldn't get any better.

I look forward to all the food that Thursday brings. Smothered Green Beans (my new recipe to test out), butternut squash Suffle, Mashed Potatoes, Turkey, Grandpa's Apple Pecan Pie, Pumpkin pie.... oh my mouth is watering as I write this.

Festivities of the Week:
Wednesday: Food preparation and family dinner.
Turkey Day: Wii Couple's Tournament: Winner takes Restaurant Gift Card
Friday: Gingerbread houses with Addison and Finn.
Saturday: San Francisco for Wedding Dress Fitting.
Sunday: Back to reality in Nevada!

Happy Feasting!

Music

I think that God created us to be moved by music for a reason. I am in a Revelations Bible Study on Monday nights and the question was asked in my weekly homework: What sounds do you think are present in Heaven? Well My answer was: singing, trumpets, musical instruments, Praising through words, sounds of feet as they dance in joy, and many other sounds that just dont come to mind. As I sit here I am listening to music, music even though not exactly worship music or christian labeled, I am fill with joy as I listen to the instruments, voices and rhythms play. I know that God intended music to bring joy, to bring an expression of our emotions, and comfort when we are physically alone.
In response to my Bible Study, I am amazed by the new things I am learning. I am amazed by the wonderful and breath taking unknown things that are within our souls future life. With all this new knowledge I am amazed by God. I want to be filled with Joy daily and I desire to be a brighter light in those lives I am in. I want to be filled with music as I go about my day. I want to walk to a tempo, I want to rest in a calm pause. So as we listen to music, i hope we are grateful for the ability to hear, the ability to tap along, and the ability to experience such beautiful joy.

None but Jesus!

Here I am sitting on an airplane thinking about how amazing God is and what He means to me. I am amazed by the strong emotions that are stirred up in me while I listen to worship music. I am filled with all this joy, hope, comfort and peace to know that my life is in amazing hands. Yes I love my family, I love my fiancé, I love my friends but there is only one person, being- that will be there for me forever. He will never leave me. He will meet with me daily if I just choose to set aside the time. So I pray for the focus of no one else will provide me happiness like that of which Jesus offers! I am not worthy of the love and grace that is given. I see so much change in my life and I want it to continue to be centered on what God has for me. I have only 6 weeks left of my third semester of nursing school and only one left to go. I remember when I was first applying to nursing school, stressed because I doubted Gods hand, His way for my life. I felt like I was applying and applying and nothing was returning into my life. I then decided that God put the desire to be a nurse on my hear so therefore He must have a plan some how to get me there. So I have learned from this experience. Now I am here almost done with school and continually realizing God did all the work. He gave me the strength to study. The finances to go. He gave me the supportive relationships to help me get through and the heart to endure it. 
To move onto another beautiful blessing: i was wondering why I wasn't getting into school? Well Gods plan was never for me to go to nursing school in Chico. It was to meet such An amazing man and to build the best relationship anyone could ask for. I was blessed with the man of my Dreams. He loves the Lord and is intentional about living the life. I respect him so much and he doesn't know how much he encourages me in my faith just by him living his life. I have been praying for a man like this all my life. I can't wait to marry him either. To see how my life grows and my love grows for my earthly man and for my heavenly man! 

So I guess the whole purpose or theme of this blog is to reflect on your prayers and see how amazing God is for answering them in better ways then we could have ever imagined. Getting my education, got my godly man, got a joyful life, what more could we ask for! 

Made Beautiful

Sitting here on my kitchen table looking at the beautiful creation of roses. I am amazed by what God does and how He creates such beautiful things. I in the mean time am also listening to a message about Fear of Man from the village church. Whats awesome is that as I am listening to these words spoken by the speaker I am feeling guilt. For we as humans are drawn to seek the approval of man. We have the Fear of being less or of being inadequate. But the truth sets us free when we find out that we are accepted by God, we are a daughter of Christ, God wants us to be who He has created us to be not what we can create ourselves to look like. The struggle is when I feel like God has brought me to Nursing School, it is His Hand that got me here- NOT me. Why do I let my school grades, or my feelings rule or even give them power when the greatest power brought me here. The Power that does all things for my good. (Of course, my good meaning what God desires in my life.)This to me is what god has been working on in my life as well as others. Are you truly living for Christ completely? Without any personal gain or praise? God is good. He reigns over all our lives but only some actually let Him reign their life. Grateful for His Grace. Grateful for His Love.